Several times this week I have literally found myself just sitting alone in a room with Dalton just staring at him. I am trying so hard to soak up every single minute I can with him and remember them perfectly in my head. If this experience has taught me anything it is to never take anything for granted because with the blink of an eye it could be all gone. I remind myself of that daily and that is what helps me get through those most sleep deprived times. Whether its a gassy smile, a giant burp, or when he grabs my hand to help hold his binky in his mouth- I love every single thing about him.
God has given us the opportunity to have time with Dalton and for that we feel so blessed. I often wonder why we were chosen to be given time with our son, when so many of our new friends were not. He could have easily been welcomed into heaven before we felt he was ready but he wasn't. We were given the chance. The chance to know nothing but love and become a man of God. His road ahead is long and will not be easy for any of us involved. Knowing that God is guiding us on how to raise him and what decisions are best for him, gives me the most comfort.
Everyone always says that God will not give you anything you cannot handle and when we found out Dalton's diagnosis I wasn't sure that was so true. I remember feeling like there was no lower feeling in this world, but giving my pain over to God helped me to overcome and remember that even with all the pain blessings are still possible. They may not be blessings that most people hope for but the little moments are our blessings. If there is anything that I can teach someone through all of this is to be thankful for what God has given you and if you put your trust in His plan you will find comfort even during your darkest days.
This song by Laura Story has helped me so much, I listened to it all through my pregnancy and even in the delivery room. When it was on in the delivery room, Jonathan and I prayed for the strength for whatever was about to come our way. We knew that no matter what our outcome we had been blessed to have 9 months with Dalton inside of me. It has been since then that we have been counting our blessings by the minute and being thankful for what we ARE being given. It's hard not to think about the future and it seems pretty daunting at this point. But we are both learning to live for the moment and know that no matter how much we try and plan for, only God knows what is in store for us.
Here are a few pictures from Dalton's first week at home! Enjoy!
Laura Story- Blessings
Dalton's great Uncle Randy and Gigi
Holding his binky.
Our little sock monkey.
Gigi and Dalton mastering the feed...without the tube!
Kalee and Matt came to visit!